Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
