How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
