Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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