How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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