Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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