this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize