What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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