Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Two words: blizzard sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize