Are we in a gay sports bar?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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