Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize