Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Randomize