well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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