I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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