I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
