lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
