Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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