my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
