She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
