...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
