Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
so much tequila, so little girl.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize