ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
