So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
