So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
