How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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