I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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