Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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