he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
