Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
