is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
