Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
