check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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