Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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