For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I believe in your delicious
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
