Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
