She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
