he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
