She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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