...so i touched it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you didnt know i had herpes?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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