..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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