i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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