No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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