Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
