Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
