youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize