Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
