When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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