Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize