All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you win again, gameday.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
