soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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