never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
