Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do herpes really smell.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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