Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
