Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
