hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize