Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i out mim tonsoeep
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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