Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
