i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
