We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize