you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize