i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
