ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
