So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
