Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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