i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
